Feeling Grateful

“It’s just that seeing this all come full circle and thinking of young me who hoped and dreamed so hard, it just really gets me emotional. I feel so proud of myself, so grateful, and so happy of where and who I am today. I feel empowered to boldly say that I am a successful woman and I’m proud.”

So I want to tell you guys about something that recently happened that is really special to me. It might sound kind of silly, but to me it’s a big deal.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk when my doorbell rang. I ran upstairs to see that it was the post man delivering a package for me. I wasn’t expecting a package, but here one was.

I looked at the box and saw it was a surprise package from Urban Decay Cosmetics. My heart swelled and this huge wave of gratitude rolled through my heart. I couldn’t believe it. Urban Decay, the Urban Decay, was sending me a package?

Right about now you’re probably thinking, “Okay… A YouTuber getting a makeup package… What’s so special about that?” Well, maybe, but to me it was incredibly special; let me tell you why.

About 10 years ago, when I was in middle school, I was first starting to wear makeup. I didn’t know anything about it, how to wear it, or how to use, but I really wanted to start playing around with it. I thought it was so cool. So I would buy whatever the CHEAPEST things I could find at the drugstore were because I was using my saved up lunch money to buy it. I always bought products that were at the end of the aisle on sale and sometimes I would buy makeup from the 99 Cent Store. My mom is very traditional and would have never in a million years buy me makeup, so my saved lunch money was what I had.

Throughout middle school to high school, I remember going over to a friend’s houses and seeing their or their older sister’s lipsticks, blushes, and beautiful eye shadow palettes. I felt so wistful and so envious, especially compared to my 99 Cent Store makeup (lol). Every time I saw their makeup, I would wish and hope that someday I could have enough money to one day buy makeup like this.

One thing I always wanted especially, SO BAD, was the first Urban Decay Naked Palette that just come out, and I wanted to buy it SO BAD, but it was so EXPENSIVE to lil’ high school Jess! I remember thinking, “$50 for one piece of makeup???”

So as I went through high school, I would just hope and wish that I would become a successful women who could afford to buy beautiful palettes like those. That was honestly like a dream for me. I decided that I was going to work so hard and just hustle my butt off to become that successful women that I dreamed to be. Then for the next several years, I did just that. I worked incredibly hard.

There were so many times over the years where I felt like giving up, so many times I thought that maybe those people were right. I always asked God, “What is the right path for me? Am I doing the right thing? Is this stupid?” and I prayed for guidance. Sometimes I even dropped down to my knees and cried because I was so scared and worried that I was following the wrong path. But time and time again I felt that tug in my heart to keep pushing through and to keep hustling.

So a few weeks ago when I received a surprise package from Urban Decay THEMSELVES sending me their Naked Petite Heat Palette, I just got so choked up. I actually wrote this initial post with tears coming to my eyes, and now editing it for blog format, here I am again with a lump in my throat and my eyes holding back tears.

It’s just that seeing this all come full circle and thinking of young me who hoped and dreamed so hard, it just really gets me emotional. I feel so proud of myself, so grateful, and so happy of where and who I am today. I feel empowered to boldly say that I am a successful woman and I’m proud. I worked so hard to get where I am, to get the opportunities I have, and to have had the experiences I’ve had. So many people told me that I was stupid for dropping out of college to chase a dream. They told me I would fail, that I would regret it all, that I was wasting time. They told me I couldn’t make money doing something I love. Because of them I never thought I would actually get here.
But hey, here I am today. I am a successful woman and I am so proud.

HARD WORK AND CHASING YOUR DREAMS PAYS OFF 💪🏼
Seriously don’t let anybody ever tell you otherwise.

I feel so blessed and grateful for all the love and support and everything from you guys. Thank you so much endlessly. And thank you to God for giving me the strength and courage to get through these last few years, for placing that purpose within my heart to create. Thank you for these blessings.

I can’t believe I’m writing this huge post and getting all emotional because of a smol lil’ palette hahaha. Whatever! I just wanted to share this with you guys because this really was something special for me.

Anyways, thank you again and so much love!!!

xo, Jess 🌸💛

*This post was originally shared on Instagram, but has been edited with additional detail for the blog. See the original post here.